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Saturday, October 30, 2010

Die to re-born

The other day night (on 29th March 2010) when i exchanged pleasantries with my father, things in life were very clear and certain. Not having an iota of doubt, for the things that is going to happen in the next day morning. Mother’s phone call shattered everyone in the morning. Father became no more, a heart attack concluded his life. The gravity in the word grounded all the air in my heart, body started trembling and mind started fearing and doubting. My knowledge failed. Memory splashed the life, he lived. His humble beginning, nonstop working, achievements, his retirement; And the life after his retirement, the beautiful young heart, old and tired body, the burdened mind, his love for children; his love for reading, his love for travelling. The awareness made me to realise that man cannot conclude life and comprehend the destiny and if sometimes it hurts we cannot think 'It is against me.' Nothing is ever against us and nothing can be ever against us. 'we come out of this existence and one day we will disappear back into it, we are just waves of the same ocean, we are not separate.' The body has become old, the body has become tired: now he needs a new body; existence is just trying to help him by taking the old garments away. Existence is trying to give him a new life, a new beginning. It was the short-sightedness of the mind that made me think my father is killed. I gained back the trust, all fear disappeared and the whole energy of fear is transformed into the energy of love. The feared mind cast its ugly spell of doubts on me and i kept cropping in dark these many days asking irreverent questions on his death. I regained my wisdom and I empowered my heart to grow with more sensitivity so that I can find wherever he is . Dad I love you so much. Appa i assure you, i will be there with you living the life more beautifully with more heart, in your non ending continued journey of the life.

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